Losing it.

I think I finally hit the wall parenting this week. I hate to be such a downer, but I just feel like I'm not doing anything well. Rosie is sick again. She is a crazy nightmare when she's sick and I feel bad for her, but after no sleep for 5 days and listening to her cry no matter what we do I just want to throw myself out the window or run away. I sound like such a mean mom, but please give me a break! We just can't seem to get any kind of breather between illnesses.

I'm lucky to have a supportive husband that understands, but when the baby only wants mommy and he works full time there's not always a lot that can be done to help. My brother came over for a couple hours yesterday just to help entertain her, which was amazing. But after another night of crying and fussing I feel a longer break is necessary for me to find my zen again. Oh, and some sleep. What is it about sleep deprivation that makes your outlook seem so bleak?

Nothing in the universe could possibly have prepared me for being Rosie's mom. She is willful, stubborn, and sort of psychotic. I love her, I do. But today I just wish I could disappear without feeling bad or guilty or wondering if she's suffering. Just one day, and then back to the grindstone I swear.

I'm sure my life wouldn't be as awesome as it is without her, but I'm having a bad mom week.

(photo by: Shana Duncan)