Happy Mother's Day!

Mother's Day is a good time to thank all the women in my life who have been there to support me, both growing up and now as a mother myself.  I also appreciate all the women who love my daughter like their own, I know she will look up to them as she grows older.

Her goofy Auntie Bini who comes to play and laugh with her every other day, her Grandma Rima who comes every weekend to babysit, the terrific teachers at preschool that love and care for her each and every day, her Auntie Jenna who babysits and keeps me sane, her Auntie Martina who calls every weekend to video chat with her "little peanut", her Auntie Amanda who was there to spend the day with me in labor and has been there every week since, her Auntie Natalie who adores her, her Auntie Isabel who dotes on her and takes me out so I don't lose my mind, her Grandma Audrey who comes all the way from Wisconsin to visit, her Auntie Britta and Linda in Minnesota who never forget a single occasion and mark it with a card or treat or meaningful gift, her Auntie Sara who always has a joke and a treat for her, her Auntie Ellen who made her the most gorgeous blanket ever, her Great Grandma's Nancy and Priscilla who send love, letters and gifts that are always so thoughtful and sweet.

This daughter of mine is truly treasured by the women in her life, and I'm proud to say that regardless of parentage, these women share motherhood with me and make me a better mother.  I never really felt the true meaning of "it takes a village to raise a child" until I had one of my own and needed the support and help of my friends and family every day. Throughout my life different women have raised me, supported me, advised me, cared for me, and loved me. As hard as I try I will never have all that Rosie needs, it does not diminish my motherhood to share the burden and joy with these amazing women. I'm just so so so grateful to them.  We don't parent in a vacuum, and thank god for that.

So Happy Mother's Day, to all you moms, grandmas, great grandmas, aunties, teachers, and BFFs.  Life is so much better with you in it!

Xoxo

Fearless + Free

I have always wanted to be two things: a mother, and a creative person. Motherhood gave me the confidence and opportunity to be a creative person, and creating is making me a better mother.

I had spent the last 6+ years working at a job that was great, but not thrilling. I was paid well, given lots of generous perks, my boss treated me like family. But I always felt like I wanted to be creating, doing, learning. Although I really liked what I did, it just wasn't inspiring me.

Then, almost 10 months ago, I had my daughter Rosie.

This single event has changed my life more than almost any other (understatement of the year.) I returned to work full time when Rosie was 5 1/2 months old, but it was enormously difficult to keep our family life running smoothly and happily with both my husband and I working full time outside the house. Weekdays were a crazy race to bedtime, weekends were just two busy days filled with chores. I felt like I was missing everything, and worse, I felt like I didn't even know my own child anymore. We would spend the weekend scouring the log sheets that came home with her from daycare, trying to find some clue as to what she wanted next. It broke my heart.

Simultaneously, I had spent a massive amount of time designing invitations for my sisters wedding in September and it felt so invigorating to create! I have always loved to decorate and make things pretty. I have rearranged and styled my living room and bedroom several times since we bought our house in 2009. I didn't know how, but I knew I wanted to do something to use the passion I had for making things beautiful. And I needed to do it soon before I let it die inside me.

I know that sounds dramatic, but I think many people have had a similar feeling. Working a job that doesn't use the passion and skill you possess, having an urge to just stop EVERYTHING and make a change right now. I also wanted to my know my daughter better and felt she needed me. I didn't want my whole life to only include my daughter, but I wanted her to be more in focus. My husband and I decided our family needed someone at home more, so I quit my well paying job and decided to follow my dreams. Hoping someday my daughter would also be inspired and have the confidence to follow her dreams.

When I came across this quote by the Dalai Lama: "The more you are motivated by love, the more fearless and free your action will be." it really affected me. It was scary leaving a great job with good pay to work part time and stay home with my daughter, but I was motivated by my love for her, our family, and for my dreams. That love (and tons of family support) gave me confidence that this was the right action for me.

This blog is dedicated to my new beginning. Being who I am, living what I love, and striving towards who I can be.

(photography: Shana Duncan, drawings added by me)